so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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