I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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