the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Church boner. Awkwardddd
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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