You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize
