You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
