Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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