Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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