it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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