Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
