so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
