I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
