I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize