Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
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