I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
