I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
