My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
someone get that fucking seahorse.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
