I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
