people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
