There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
