4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
