those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize