Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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