I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
