my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
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