I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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