yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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