well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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