You work out of a Hotel?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
