You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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