He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
that is very illegal...i love you.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
