I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
