So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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