so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
