She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
