both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
