this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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