what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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