? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Randomize
