i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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