Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
