wat bout pragnant strippers??
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
