No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize