bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
