shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
