FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Too much gin, very little bucket
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
