I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
