you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
