I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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