He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
