Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I cannot find my penis.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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