I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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