I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I intend to get homeless drunk
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
