Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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