I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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