We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
a search helicopter?!
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
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