Heybabeimwearingurpanties
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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