Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
the day after is always just damage control
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
