Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
