Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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