yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
