Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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