I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Congratulations! We have a period
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
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