Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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