Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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