New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
